Thursday, August 28, 2014

I ended what I shouldn't



I am Grace and I am another ordinary girl in this whole wide world.  I am not sure what I did, but what I am very sure about is not meeting him today. He was outside, I was still sleeping when I heard he knock the door. Seriously...blurr...but one thing for sure, I don't wanna meet him or to be precise I don't wanna listen to what he has to say. 

I opened the door, and he was there. He wore the red shirt we bought together from Body Glove clothing store, his face looks sad but quite confident. He wanted to talk but I immediately shut the door. He continue knocking..

I went to the kitchen, clean my self, drink some water and went back to my bedroom. He was still there.."gosh, when will he give up" I tied up my hair and he left..

"Maybe he has given up..." thats what I want him to do at the moment. After a few minutes he came back, he called my home..( I'm sure thats him)..then he called my cell. " Hows that feel when someone hangs on you" I decline his call. After the third time, it annoyed me. So I pick up the phone and just listen; He said let me explain, give me the chance to explain...bla bla bla...I'm innocent..I fell asleep... The moment I heard that line, I just hang up. Gosh, this person is so annoying! Same old lame excuses again! Do don't tell someone to keep in touch with you if you knew that you were not available at the moment. I waited for you! and I called you a thousand times! You st**** brat!

I was on fire, just like right now. I pissed off, good times. I was so so angry with him. The conversation turns into something bad well yes, its my fault by not giving him the chance to explain but why should I? He didn't gave me the chance to reach him last night and he just disappear.  

He was so angry when I deleted the pictures and put no status on my acc. I want him to notice that, of course..when you hurt a girl so badly she will gone mad and lose control of her emotion. I am like a grenade, I just explode. 

Wow, this is not really a good post to read, but the purpose I created this blog is to write. 
I am Grace and I am still an ordinary girl that suffered heartache, just like you guys.

Good bye.

with love,
Grace.


Friday, August 15, 2014

I am struggling..


I am seriously struggling.
I am confused.
I love our Father in Heaven so much that I try my hard to figure out everything.
Why is that happening.

At least before all this I am ME and really close to God.
Is it a Satan way to make me far from Him?
that is so sneaky and seriously evil.

"How can you feel so far from God when you are actually at the right place to stand."

Should I blame myself for being so insecure and unhappy.
Why is this happening..why did I chose it to be this way?
Am I too young to understand God's love? or AM I NEVER WILL UNDERSTAND ?

will I forever be judge by everyone near me?

I am so confused.
I am really confused. ACTUALLY.

No.
sigh

NO.
 NOPE.

I am a human being too !!

JUST LIKE THEM I HAVE REGRETS IN LIFE TOO !!

YES !!
YES !!!

I made mistake. Big one. maybe two, no..maybe the whole year in my life. BUT listen carefully,
I don't live to embrace anyone on EARTH. right...right? are you listening? are you reading??

I AM NOT A TOY !!!

and I am not a barbie to live just to be judge on the appearance, beauty and that fake permanent smile.

NO.
I am not going to please anyone.

I live to be happy and accept my mistakes, accept my life, accept my weakness.
I live to embrace God and spread His love in the most positive ways I can.
I live to have friends who will make me seriously out of my mind but still stick with them because they are the best !!

I live to enjoy every moment of my life because I can't never know what will happen in the future !! 

I live ONLY to please GOD !!!

BECAUSE I CERTAINLY KNOW !!

ONLY BY PLEASING HIM, PRAISING HIM !!

I WILL HAVE THE BEST MEMORIES ON EARTH while Breathing by the BREAD OF LIFE.

I live to be HAPPY because of Him.

PERIOD.



sincerely on Sabbath day,
15th August 2014
Friday

Grace

p/s : i wrote right away from my mind. I am sorry for all the grammar mistake.